Those few minutes you spend in bed awake can be really hazardous. Much like Charlie Brown, sometimes I remember all the stupid things I've done for no reason. It just enters my mind and by myself, alone in bed, I become mortified and smother myself with a pillow (er, lightly). It's scary to compare yourself to Charlie Brown. Even if he is a perfectly likable character, in the strip, nobody likes him (save a few kids) because he's quicker than others on focusing on his flaws; he lets his insecurity consume him, and even makes an inventory at the end of the day. I think we toughen up once we realize that no one is perfect, we just have ways of dealing and covering up those flaws.
Click here to hear a digital version of me playing Keane's "Snowed Under." I turned on the metronome because no one will drum for me, heh.
It's even scarier to hear the worst things you fear about yourself said about you by other people. It's easy to get snowed under by other people's opinions of us, making you doubt yourself and be unable to move on. But in the end, it's all just a waste of time. Very few people get to where they are by the great deluge of compliments heaped upon them. If for nothing else, at least you save a few minutes at night and get the extra sleep (and oxygen from not smothering yourself).
I was tagged by Hélène of La Cuisine d'Hélène and Dana of Proof of the Pudding to share 5 facts about myself. I've been racking my brain to come up with 5 little-known (well, at least in the Internet world) facts about myself that are safe to read. Hah.
1. I've sung solo in public several times. The first time was a Church solo for the Gloria, in front of half of the 4th (?) grade batch. I sang a few times in front of my high school class (but that's not really public, is it?). The next time was in college, as part of a one-shot band for an alumni homecoming, when we did a cover of "So Young" by The Corrs (among other songs) and I was playing keyboards (I did one of the verses and backing vocals of course). The last time was also in college, playing "Winter" by Tori Amos while also on solo piano. I haven't been practicing so my voice now sucks, but it's okay because practicing only made my voice higher, which is a great source of insecurity for me.
2. I have a rudimentary (read: really crappy) knowledge of American sign language.
3. I used to collect comic books back in the 90's. My title of choice: Excalibur by Chris Claremont and Alan Davis (huh, I was an Anglophile back then..). My aunt used to give me and my brother sketchbooks, and I churned out my own comic books and "graphic novels" (48 pages, no less!) about "Excalifur", where I drew anthropomorphic animals in my own version (you know, Shadowcat is a cat, etc.). The stories were pretty incomprehensible and dumb, but it was more of an excuse to draw every superhero I could think of. Now, I'm glad they publish collected editions of comic books so I don't have to spend a fortune every month just to follow a story.
4. In the 6th grade (I think), I was part of a televised interscholastic quiz show called "Battle of the Brains." My brain was not yet full of medicine, food, and filth, so it had a lot of room for useless trivia (I have since discarded those facts, but I still enjoy watching Jeopardy! when I have nothing else to do). I survived to fight another week with my teammates, but we lost during our second time there.
5. I'm pretty good at table tennis. My dad taught me because he got tired of me reading and not moving much as a kid. In college, there was a table at my organization, but I didn't fight anyone unless I was really bored because I didn't like sweating in between classes. I'm not at an olympic level or even as good as the best players in my org, but I just watched "The Office" where Jim and Darryl are playing each other "intensely" and I thought, "That's it?"
I'm not tagging anyone as usual, but if you want to answer it from this link, just tell me in the comments and I'll link to you. ;)