14 October 2007

Silent All These Years

October is breast cancer awareness month (I've yet to concretely do anything about it since I've graduated from med school, but for now, I encourage all female readers to do the BSE and a mammmogram over the age of 40 in the absence of any obvious masses). It got me thinking about other women's issues in my country.

Most days out of the week, there are certain tabloids that instead of trumpeting the latest economic crisis or government corruption scandal, have the latest (?) rape case as its headline. In bold, red letters, you can catch up on the latest episode of grotesqueness:
SANGGOL GINAHASA NG AMA (Infant raped by father)
7-TAONG GULANG HINALAY NG ADIK (7 Year-old Molested by a Drug Addict)
LOLA, GINAHASA AT PINATAY (Grandmother, Raped and Killed)

These aren't headlines that I lifted from any specific tabloid from any specific day, but in my country those patterned headlines are sickeningly familiar. (* Disclaimer: I have almost no way of knowing if these headlines are fabricated.) Which begs the question: fabricated or not, who is the target audience of these tabloids? Men, who are warned of the consequences of such debauchery, or women, who are warned of the evils that may exist within the four walls of their home? Most rapes are committed by non-strangers in familiar situations. I've personally known at least two people who have been molested, and the culprits, members of their own families, were never reported to the authorities. From these it's clear that rape is a violation of the body and a violation of trust, which in their own ways both lead to shame and silence.

For better or for worse, the tabloids continue to plaster the horrors that these victims face for all to see, breaking the silence in such a spectacular fashion, but oddly repetitive, that they seem to blend and become less important individually as each day passes, each week, year after year after year. Even less is being done to protect the rights of children, women, and the elderly. Drug use is still rampant among all social classes. (Lord knows what nightmares reside in these people's subconsciouses, unleashed once the drugs remove their inhibitions.)

Click here to hear a direct digital recording of me playing Tori Amos's "Silent All These Years."

I haven't yet given up on our society. I refuse to believe that rape is threaded through its fabric. Still, that doesn't make it easier to change. (Notes on the song and lyrics follow)

I'd first gotten to know Tori Amos in third year high school (ca. 2000), and in an all-boys' school that was unheard of. I watched her first on MTV Unplugged and I was enthralled by her skillful piano-wrangling and emotional performances. She'd just released her third album, Boys for Pele. Each time I raved about her music, all I really got was "Isn't she weird? Wasn't she nursing a pig on her CD?" (Just like for the rape victims, nobody really listens.) She's the main influence that got me playing the piano in the first place. She had also been a victim of rape. "Silent All These Years" is the first real piano piece I tried to learn. It's a song about refusing to be a victim and letting your voice be heard. So yeah, excellent message.

Excuse me but can I be you for a while
My dog won't bite if you sit real still
I got the anti-Christ in the kitchen yelling at me again
Yeah I can hear that
Been saved again by the garbage truck
I got something to say you know but nothing comes
Yes I know what you think of me you never shut up
Yeah I can hear that

But what if I'm a mermaid in these jeans of his with her name still on it
Hey but I don't care 'cause sometimes I said sometimes I hear my voice
And it's been here silent all these years

So you found a girl who thinks really deep thougts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts
Boy you best pray that I bleed real soon
How's that thought for you
My scream got lost in a paper cup
You think there's a heaven where some screams have gone
I got 25 bucks and a cracker
Do you think it's enough to get us there

Cause what if I'm a mermaid in these jeans of his with her name still on it
Hey but I don't care 'cause sometimes I said sometimes I hear my voice
And it's been here silent all these

Years go by will I still be waiting for somebody else to understand
Years go by if I'm stripped of my beauty and the orange clouds raining in head
Years go by will I choke on my tears till finally there is nothing left
One more casualty
You know we're too easy

Well I love the way we communicate
Your eyes focus on my funny lip shape
Let's hear what you think of me now but baby don't look up
The sky is falling
Your mother shows up in a nasty dress
It's your turn now to stand where I stand
Everybody lookin' at you
Here take hold of my hand
Yeah I can hear them

But what if I'm a mermaid in these jeans of his with her name still on it
Hey but I don't care 'cause sometimes I said sometimes I hear my voice
And it's been here silent all these years
I've been here
Silent all these years

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