A Dumb Grocery Story
I was buying the cherries when I lined up at the Express Lane to pay for them. The woman in front of me was next, and she had a cartful of groceries, so I told her, "Excuse me, this is the Express Lane." She turned around, planted her BMI=40 body, looked at me with ptotic eyes and said, "So?" I couldn't believe what I just saw and heard. Trying my best to control my anger, I said, "It's only courteous to the people behind you that you keep the number of items under 8..." Anyway, I didn't finish when she told her daughters (?) to take some stuff out; apparently they divided and the first one will pay with an express card and the second with cash. Now, I did my best to control myself, but here's what I would have said if I really cut loose:
LISTEN UP, YOU INCONSIDERATE SWINE. IT SAYS "EXPRESS LANE, 8 ITEMS OR LESS." EITHER YOU'RE TOO MUCH OF A MORON TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS, OR YOU'RE PART OF THAT SUBSET OF PEOPLE WHO ARE SO STUPIDLY, SELFISHLY THOUGHTLESS THAT YOU THINK YOU CAN INCONVENIENCE OTHERS MORE THAN LOOKING AT YOUR FACE ALREADY HAS. NOW FUCKING TELL ME, WHICH ONE IS IT? WHICH ONE? WHICH ONE?!?!?!?!"
LISTEN UP, YOU INCONSIDERATE SWINE. IT SAYS "EXPRESS LANE, 8 ITEMS OR LESS." EITHER YOU'RE TOO MUCH OF A MORON TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS, OR YOU'RE PART OF THAT SUBSET OF PEOPLE WHO ARE SO STUPIDLY, SELFISHLY THOUGHTLESS THAT YOU THINK YOU CAN INCONVENIENCE OTHERS MORE THAN LOOKING AT YOUR FACE ALREADY HAS. NOW FUCKING TELL ME, WHICH ONE IS IT? WHICH ONE? WHICH ONE?!?!?!?!"
Whew. Anyway, I just let them pay twice for their groceries. I didn't care that it slowed me down a little; I cared more that they were inconvenienced and made to see what kind of people they were. But you know, people like that are so lacking in self-awareness that they probably wouldn't care if anyone exposed their hideousness. But how did you think I did on the anger management? Serenity now! Serenity now!!